Grey Eye India
by Eyesuhkattspeleeng
Summary: A little disabled girl with undiscovered talents, a Potion’s master who has her life in his hands, a sweet charming Hufflepuff with a beautiful seductive and sadistic Slytherin mother. What do they all have in common? India. Mature Content Warning
1. Prologue

**Author's note: **_Right-o, to begin with, this is the first story I've published in the longest while. I'm a wee bit nervous about posting it, but I'm taking the plunge. Secondly, I started writing this last summer, me thinks, and I adored the idea though I didn't start writing on it again until recently (as in, this past weekend). It's currently a work in progress and I'm not sure how long it will take to finish as I am pregnant but I'll try to keep the updates speedy, no promises however. _

_One thing you, the reader, should take note of is that this is AU though I've tried to keep it as canon as possible. Also, it contains mature content as I did start to write this story for AFF. So, as usual, please read and review. I need the encouragement. So with that, enjoy my story! _

**Prologue: Grey Eye India  
**

The girl sitting daintily in the Malfoy's tea room, chatting stiffly, yet properly, scared Severus Snape to no end. She was small, a sparrow of a girl really. Everything about her features were, well small. Tiny round breast, a tiny heart shaped mouth, a tiny nose – he touched his for contrast- and tiny hands, they were the smallest of everything. But why did she scare him so? It wasn't as if she could touch him. But when ever he looked at her, he felt his chest tighten and his stomach clench. Why was he so damned scared? Narcissa met his eyes briefly and he fell back from the door way only to come face to face with Lucius.

"She's a bit old for Draco," Lucius said. "Which is why we asked you to come over."

"_I'm_ too old for _her_," Severus replied and followed Lucius back to his study for a glass of brandy and perhaps a cigar, though only for show. Severus thought they were revolting.

"She's seventeen, Severus," Lucius said as he sat back in his plush dragon hide arm chair. Severus didn't take a seat, he stood, his spine straight and rigid. He couldn't relax because he knew he was going to get bamboozled into doing something he didn't want to do. That's what happened when Lucius wanted to butter him up. "My Draco is only five years old. Simply too young for marriage."

"Why would she even ask?"

"It's a long story, Severus," Lucius began with a heavy sigh as if this were some difficult situation that plucked his heart strings in a complicated c-scale. His sleek white blonde hair seemed to actually glitter in the firelight along with his eyes. Severus merely rolled his. Lucius wasn't a sucker for a sob story so what was so different about this? "Her parents died, both of them, a few weeks ago and since she was their only child and a girl, she cannot access her inheritance with out a husband. It'd only be for convenience I'm sure."

"Why me?"

"Because, Severus, my old friend, I want the best for you and this single life isn't well suited for a man of your status and your abilities. Meet with her, talk to her, I promise you won't be disappointed. Her parents groomed her well," Lucius said with a grin. Severus tried his hardest to grin back but found that the closest he could get was baring his teeth which made Lucius grimace and make a comment about a dental specialist in the wizarding district of Glasgow. "She's rather desperate," Lucius continued. "She's not the biggest socialite, rather shy, homeschooled, and the offers aren't rolling in. The only one who has proposed is Nott."

"How…vile," Severus said. He was doing his best to not let this affect him. Nott was a widower, recently thrown on to the market with a young son as it was rumored that Nott had killed his wife in a drunken rage. Not that he wanted to marry her himself but it was just not something he thought was suitable for her. But then again, since when did he care? He didn't know her, in fact, this was the first he'd ever heard of the Chapman's ever having a daughter.

"Oh yes, I promised I wouldn't let that happen," Lucius drawled, eyeing Severus carefully. Severus knew what was about to happen: Lucius would suggest they go shopping for more suitable robes and then a quick trim and a shave. Severus put his hand up before Lucius could even suggest it.

"I have no intentions of trying to impress this girl," he said. "If she's desperate enough not to marry Nott then she'll have me as I am." Now why did he go and say that? How did he let himself say that? Repulsive, demeaning…but still. Nott? Lucius' powers of persuasion were much stronger than he'd given them credit for.

What Lucius didn't tell him was that Maizie Chapman was his half sister, a product of a secret fling between Celia Chapman and Abraxas Malfoy. But the moment he looked his would-be bride in the eyes, he saw. He saw the same steely grey eyes as Lucius, the same ice storm sky eyes that made Severus shiver. Now he had a reason to be scared of her. She was a Malfoy, even if she didn't know it. Severus didn't care to know the details, but he knew why Malfoy was so adamant that Maizie was taken care of and not by Nott and why little Draco couldn't marry her, age differences aside.

If anything, Severus noticed, she was more scared of him than he was of her. When he entered the tea room, she nearly jumped out of her skin. He saw that Narcissa had a firm grip on her thigh, to keep her in place. Lucius entered behind him and ran into him when he stopped short.

"Maizie," he said, brushing past Severus. "This is my good friend and colleague, Severus Snape."

Maizie stood, ever so gently and ever so daintily that it appeared as though she would break if she weren't careful. She was pretty, he'd give her that much. Her hair was a soft golden brown that she'd curled almost perfectly –perhaps Narcissa?- but she didn't really appeal to him all that much. As far as he was concerned this was a favor to Lucius.

"Pleased to meet you," she said in a whisper as she curtsied and offered him her hand. He looked at Lucius briefly who only nodded his head once. Severus took the girls hand and placed a gentle kiss on it, something he hated doing but it was the pureblooded thing to do, as Lucius had put it bluntly. He could feel her shaking under his lips, a sign that she was terrified. As she should be.

"Severus," Lucius nudged him. Severus stood frozen on the spot, not sure what to say. Should he make small talk or should he just get on with it? Luckily, ever the impatient, Lucius made the decision for him. "He's asking for your hand in marriage."

Well that was simple, because Severus simply had no idea how to ask a girl he barely knew to marry him. She only nodded. Acceptance? Severus wasn't sure. Her eyes were on the ground but they flitted upward for a second, briefly meeting his own.

"Thank you," she whispered. Apparently she didn't deem him too horrifying. Well, at least not as terrifying as Nott. Still, he wasn't sure why he was doing this. He was only twenty-five, hardly old enough to get married, so he thought. The Dark Lord had been vanquished, Lily Evans was dead and he had a steady job. Why would he want to get married? But there he was, officially engaged, something he couldn't get out of. Did he mind? He supposed not or else he would've put up a bigger fight. It was hard to chase loneliness away when all you had was your hand.

After the stupid little rituals Lucius and Narcissa insisted on putting him through – "befitting for a pureblood"- Severus found himself in Lucius' office again, discussing Maizie.

Her name wasn't actually Maizie, it was Malaysia, named after her parents had taken their fifth tour of Asia. They'd tried to conceive before and were unfortunate to have suffered through three miscarriages and two stillborns. No one could figure out why Maizie had been so lucky, at least not Celia and Baron Chapman. No one told them that being first cousins was incest nor that when ever they did try to reproduce, they managed to mutate their genes and spawned a rare blood disease in the fetus. It didn't occur to Celia until later that if she wanted to have a child that she should conceive with some one other than her husband. Perhaps it never did occur to her. Perhaps she was just lonely because her emotionally cold husband refused to do hardly anything with her as he deemed her sterile. Baron never did question Maizie's true parentage; he was just grateful to have an heir though he was disappointed with her gender. Of course that didn't last long either. After she was born, he and Celia worked hard to groom little Maizie to be as pretty as a pot of flowers and just as dumb as one too. They never taught her proper magic because they just assumed it would come naturally. Her powers were unstable so she hardly used them, Lucius said, though when she got emotional they tended to surface.

"I will do my best to remedy that," Severus said quietly, letting all the information sink in. Lucius still had yet to admit that he was some how related to Maizie but Severus saw it. "Who is her real father?"

"I don't think you have to ask," Lucius said quietly. Severus glanced up at the grand portrait of Abraxas Malfoy who scoffed but said nothing otherwise. "So you can see why I find it important that you take care of her. I cannot have her burdening me anymore. "

"Does she know?"

"No. I wouldn't want to break her heart."

They weren't allowed to speak to each other again until the day of their wedding. It was a small ceremony. The only guests were Lucius and Narcissa and there was no reception. Maizie looked terribly disappointed. She'd only been dreaming of this moment since she was a little girl. She'd been promised pretty fancy things that Severus could not provide her with.

She'd dressed beautifully, however, taught to look her best no matter the situation. It was rather depressing to see her dressed in old fashioned wedding robes. They were lacy and clean cut which she managed to make look gorgeous. He felt rather drab as he only wore his teaching uniform, the best set of robes he owned.

There was no reception, there was no dancing, there were no toasts made to the bride and groom nor was the bouquet thrown into a crowd of little girls and pathetic spinsters who were sloppy and drunk. There was none of that which Severus was grateful for. He was not proud nor was he happy. He could've backed down at the last second, which he almost did.

If he could've backed down from the wedding night, he would've had he known how disappointing it would be and how disappointed he would be. For one, it was his first time with a woman and for another, it was nothing like he'd expected it to be. Had he really expected something – dare he call it magical-? He was realistic but for one moment, he'd known it would be. But it wasn't. That's just how life was for Severus Snape.

They'd gone back to Maizie's home on the coast that was built on a slight cliff two miles away from the shore. They'd gone by carriage, the whole ride consisting of nothing but silence from both parties, only the sound of the soft creak of the wheels and the _clip clop, clip clop _of the horses' feet as they trotted on the ground and going airborne for two hours and then the whole process started again. Severus had even made up a small song in his mind to the rhythm of it all.

_Night shine/Night mine/Lovely ride/Silent bride _

The first thing he smelled when he stepped out of the carriage was the salty sting of the sea. It was the first thing he noticed as well because he'd seen it all through the small windows in the carriage, nothing surprised him, anyway. He could hear seagulls cawing a few miles away. The sound was almost deafening. Only the sound of a foghorn could penetrate it though that was no comfort either. It's solitary croak only made Severus feel lonely and the grey sky that would never go away only depressed him further.

Inside the house -mansion seemed to be the more appropriate word- , Severus found him self small within the expansive rooms and the tall ceilings. It could've almost rivaled the Malfoy's home if for the distinct aura of death that was painted on the walls and seeped in under door cracks until it filled the air.

Maizie led him upstairs to her late parents' bedroom, which was now their chambers. Burgundy drapes fell delicately yet grandly over a large window, completely diminishing the chance of any natural light sneaking in and illuminating the room. The bed was so large it could have easily housed six people and was big enough that if two people slept far enough away from each other they'd almost be in entirely different worlds. Intimacy be damned, Severus thought as his heart sank.

Lucius had some how convinced him this is what he wanted. He wanted the wealth, he wanted a home that was his, he wanted a dutiful pureblood wife to produce pureblood children so he could die knowing he'd done something good in the world. He knew it was all wrong. This was all wrong; the wife, the wealth and the home. Had he been so superficial and willing to please Lucius that he'd given the wobbly dignity his mother had taught him a good swift kick in the arse? Hadn't this obsession with purity and wealth ended up killing maybe the only woman he'd ever love? The reason he'd joined Voldemort was because he wanted power. With power came the wealth and the purity but the Dark Lord was gone now. He had to have the wealth and the purity before he could have the power which was all wrong. Maizie, he realized, was his last hope. It was wrong. So very wrong, indeed.

Dinner was a quiet affair. There were still a few House Elves that were deeded along with the house to Severus by magical contract, though his in-laws never got to see what sort of man their daughter would marry. They sat in the ridiculously ornamented dining room at a table large enough to seat an army and ate, once more in complete silence. Severus washed the taste of roasted chicken and bitter regret down with a glass of two-hundred year old wine that was to never be opened. It was that last streak of youthful rebellion that made Severus do it. If Maizie noticed, she didn't say a word. It tasted like shit anyway. Probably cheap for it's time but a bit of a novelty because it was so old. To be perfectly honest, the rich seemed to like the most nauseating foods in large portions, drink the shittiest tasting wines and smoke the foulest smelling cigars. But for what? Severus couldn't help but wonder what was so great about it. It was pure torture, really.

It didn't matter. What mattered was what happened when Severus lay in his marriage bed, waiting for his wife to come out of the wash room –it was also highly improper to call it a loo- so they could consummate the marriage. Once it was done, it was done. There would be no Catholics that could grant him an annulment and he was too cowardly for a divorce. The moment he penetrated her would seal the deal. He'd be one hundred percent married then. Why he put so much ceremony into it, he wasn't sure.

Finally, she came back dressed in a sheer pink robe that hid nothing. She was completely nude underneath it. Just looking at her aroused Severus. Her breasts were small but fully developed, her nipples were small and erect from the cold draft in the room and shaded pink from the negligee she wore. Lovely was the small unknown territory that was shaded by a smattering of dark hair between her legs. If this is what Allah had promised martyrs once they died, never mind roughly sixty nine more of them, Severus would convert to Islam in a heartbeat. How was he to know that it was just all imagery?

There was nothing virginal about the way she swooped over him and removed her robe. It struck Severus as odd when ever she pulled the heavy blankets back. She was not shy about viewing him in the nude, in fact she seemed rather detached. Weren't virgins supposed to be wary and scared of him? Maizie didn't seem to be at all. Perhaps she had been studying the matter just as he had, though the thought of her reading anything sort of stumped Severus because, well, she was just stupid. He'd tried to see the good in her. Sure she was pretty, small and not to mention filthy fucking rich but she did nothing to stimulate his intellect. He thought that she might be touched in the head but the sad truth was she was just not learned and was a bit beyond the point where she could learn anything but common sense to which she already had an inkling. At least she had that much. As long as she had that, she'd be able to absorb some the things he planned on teaching her that her parent's had foolishly forbidden her from learning. Not that he was a weakling, but he preferred his women strong and independent, able to take care of themselves instead of being a complete burden on him. Like Lily. Just like Lily.

He was alarmed mores so when she expertly crawled on top of him and impaled herself on him with out a single flinch. Severus knew enough to know that when the hymen was broken it was a painful experience. Would he feel some sort of barrier? Would he be able to tell if hers was still intact? And as she let out a small groan and began to shift her hips slowly, it dawned on Severus that she was no virgin at all. He'd been duped, well not really so much as duped, but left in the dark at the very least. He should have asked before jumping into this. It was a huge mistake, but god did her pulsating walls feel so good around his flesh. She would stop for several seconds every once in a while, allowing herself to regain her breath but soon after, she'd dig her nails into his flesh and clench her innards, the pressure being an immense pleasure, as she guided her body up and down, gradually picking up pace as though she were trying to milk him.

And then, in one life changing moment, it felt as though his whole body was going to explode though it was the most rapturous feeling Severus had ever felt. Consciously, he knew what was about to happen but he just didn't care. It'd only been a few moments, but he had to release, though he wanted it to last for ever, to live in this state for an eternity. It was a state in which he was the only person in the universe who'd ever felt this good. It was him and only him. Maizie was giving him a push along to this other world, where it ever that was, but she was not there either. He let out a sharp cry, thinking he'd be the only one who could hear it but as he did so, he was abruptly pulled down to earth. Maizie was standing now, reaching for her robe. He glanced at her, curiously, confused by being dismounted so quickly. She was wiping at the insides of her legs with the hem of her robe, smearing Severus' seed into to sticky white stains. It satisfied him to see them there, to know that he'd been able to produce that.

When she fled into the bathroom for a shower, Severus found him self staring above him, his arms propped behind his neck. So she wasn't a virgin. Oh well, it could have been quite disastrous had she been, because no matter how many books he'd read on the subject of magical sex, it was quite different to experience it first hand. Neither of them would have had an idea. He smiled faintly to himself as he drifted off to sleep. He didn't stir when Maizie climbed into bed though she kept her distance.

That wasn't the disappointing part of it all. It was one of the only times Severus had ever felt truly happy. What happened after that, the life that followed after, was the important part of Severus' descent into married Pureblood life. For one, she hardly talked to him. The only time he got to see her was at supper and right before she climbed into bed at night. There were no kissing, there was no cuddling and most important of all, there was no more sex. He wasn't sure he should try and talk her into it because that's what he wanted more than anything. How were the going to create an heir if she didn't cooperate and do her duties as a wife? But the first time was the charm because two months after they'd been married; they were able to confirm her pregnancy.

It had happened two weeks after Abraxas Malfoy had died. Even though Maizie did not know that Abraxas was her biological father, Severus thought she ought to go to his funeral anyway, to pay her respects. Relatives and close friends had been invited back to Malfoy Manor for a small informal party and lunch after the funeral. They all sat around stiffly and talked of Abraxas' accomplishments, which Severus hated to say, were completely boring. Once a plate of food was placed before Maizie who was sitting on Severus' right and Lucius' left, she turned a pale color. Severus noticed nothing at first until he heard her start to make gagging noises. He looked up, alarmed, but Maizie was already running towards the toilet. Severus went to follow her, but Lucius gave him a stiff grin and informed Severus he'd take care of it.

Once they were home, Maizie still felt under the weather. Severus passed off as some sort of bug and gave her proper potions to soothe it but for the most part he tried to let it run its course. After a week in bed, Severus became worried and began to research frantically, searching for an answer as to what ailed his wife. The symptoms she was experiencing was commonplace, it seemed, for banshee flu, but by then it should have completely dissipated. Even so, it really only affected males. He was stumped for an answer and almost resolved to taking her to Saint Mungo's. She wasn't dying, it seemed, just miserable. Some days she'd be alright and was able to eat but was sick the next. And then one day it dawned on him.

"Maizie," he said as he sat down on the bed next to her pale form. She was looking quite peaky. A small puddle of sick near the foot of the bed had confirmed she'd just thrown up. Severus tried to not get disgusted but he couldn't help but be revolted. This was the reason he never got into healing full time. "When did you last have your cycle?"

She stared blankly at him.

"Your monthlies," he offered.

"I'm not quite sure," she started slowly. "I think the last one I had ended a few days before the wedding."

And that was that. Severus knew and nine months later, Maizie lay in the exact same spot, gasping and screaming for some one to kill her. Something was terribly wrong then; Severus could feel it deep within himself. She'd been in labor for two days and there was no baby. She'd dilated like she was supposed to but the baby just didn't want to come out. Severus was forced to summon a healer to the residence because this was way beyond him and there was no way she could travel.

So, he waited in the smoking room, glaring heavily at a bottle of brandy. He thought about pouring himself one to ease the pain of the screams coming from upstairs. But as he stood, the screaming stopped. Severus froze in place, wondering what was happening. Had the infant finally decided to make an appearance? He wasn't sure if he should go up there yet. He let the healer have full control for a reason. But it was quiet and not a relieved sort of silent but a tense silence. Shouldn't the baby, had it been born, be crying? Severus made his way up stairs slowly, bracing himself for the worst.

The healer was standing over Maizie, feeding her some sort of potion. Once it was administered, he began to wave his wand frantically about Maizie's body. Maizie's eyes were closed and she was paler than Severus knew a person to be. There was something most definitely wrong.

The healer's wand dropped to his side in a defeated slump. He turned and jumped a little, surprised to see Severus standing there.

"I'm terribly sorry," the healer said, wiping his sweaty forehead with his sleeve. "But she's bleeding uncontrollably and nothing I try seems to stop it."

"Severus," Maizie said thickly. "Severus, I'm in India. It's gorgeous but hot…"

"She's hallucinating," the healer said as he took a glance back at Maizie.

"What of the infant?"

The healer stared strangely at Severus, his eyes darting back and forth before misting over and looking at him directly.

"Stillborn. Died during labor…" the healer's voice trailed off as he pointed to a bundle of blankets lying atop the large dresser. Severus lifted a corner of the blanket. The infant's face was masked blue, its eyes slightly bulging from under purple eyelids. Severus tried to control his breathing as he unwrapped it fully and cradled it to his chest.

"Oh yes, India is very lovely. Thank you for asking. No, I was rather hoping to visit some of the plainer sights, you know, see how the natives are. I've already seen the palaces…Oh no, I've been here before, many times. My father did business here and I fell in love with the country…"

"I've given her some potions to ease the pain, they seem to be working, but she doesn't have very long," the healer bowed his head. Severus said nothing but strode over to Maizie and placed the infant- a girl, Severus saw, on her breasts. He watched for a few moments as Maizie's chest rose and fell, the baby rising and falling with each shallow breath. And then it stopped.

"I'll leave you to pay your respects," the healer said. "I'll send in some one here in a few hours to fetch the bodies for an examination…"

There wasn't a thing Severus could say. His head was roaring. His wife was gone as was his daughter.

"I'm terribly sorry that I couldn't do anything."

"No one is at fault here," Severus said with out looking at him. "Just go."

Severus wasn't sure how long he sat there, gazing down at his wife and his daughter. He wondered why it happened to him. He wondered why when ever he found something he might be able to find happiness in always died.

But then the most peculiar thing happened. At first Severus thought he was seeing things. He thought he saw the baby twitch a finger. Before he could brush it off, the baby snuffled a bit. Severus lurched forward and scooped her up, trying to be careful. She smacked her lips and opened her mouth, letting out several puffs of breath. Severus grabbed his wand and dislodged the mucus from her nose and watched her, hoping this was really happening and that it wasn't some sort of wishful hallucination that was the product of his grief.

The baby opened her eyes and stared up at Severus. They were the same shade of grey as Maizie's and Lucius', the sort of grey that made Severus nervous. But now, it was just a relief to see them.

"You're quite lovely," Severus couldn't help but tell her. "Just like your mother said India was. I think I'll call you just that. India. Grey eye India."

India was not a normal baby, Severus soon found out. There was something peculiar about India and Severus wouldn't find out until he took her to a healer only to discover that India would never be like any normal child. She would be mentally retarded and physically disabled and no one could figure out why. Had they looked into the situation, they would have seen that India was not Severus' daughter. She wasn't his daughter in the least. But he kept her anyway. For once in his life, Severus wanted to do the right thing and the right thing to do was to love India like she was his own. His own little Grey Eye India.


	2. Chapter 1: The Home

**Chapter 1**

**The Home**

Madam Ambrose's Home for the Magically Disabled was located in a town just out side of Paris, France. Severus had taken a train into Paris from London and then took a muggle taxi into the town to the address he'd memorized since hearing it. India was waddling beside him, having just learned to walk at the age of four, pointing and cooing at things as she clutched at his hand. Severus' poor French had thrown off the driver and they'd arrived a block short. A breath of fresh air from having been on a train all day and then in a taxi for another hour would do him and India some good.

"We go?" India asked. Severus knew what she meant was, "Where are we going?" but since her tongue flopped so uselessly around in her mouth, it was hard to decipher her meaning to the untrained ear. It was a miracle she was even talking but Severus had worked hard with her at night and early in the morning as he prepared himself for a full day of teaching classes.

The fact was the more India grew the more exhausted Severus became. The bone strengthener was the main factor in her being able to walk but since she'd learned to walk she'd become restless pent up all day in his private quarters with a house elf that Dumbledore had graciously lent out her services to Severus. By the time he got in from teaching classes in the afternoon, India would demand his attention and he was so exhausted he only wanted to relax. When he didn't give her the attention she wanted, she'd become upset and would throw a fit, screaming and kicking herself tired. It drained Severus completely.

He knew she wasn't really his daughter. He wasn't stupid enough to try and convince himself other wise. Through her twisted limbs and peculiar face formation, it was plain to see through her cold grey eyes and pale blonde hair that she was not his daughter. The mental and physical disabilities India had been born with were no mystery either. Such things were almost unheard of or rather ignored in the wizarding world –mainly in the pureblooded population- because the most of the children who had been born into the situation India had been born in never made it past infanthood. They either died of what ever physical maladies that ailed them or were just ignored to the point that it would be better off if they had died. When they did die, funerals were small and inexpensive and the child wasn't mourned for long. The difference between those children and India was Severus.

Even though Severus knew India wasn't his daughter, he still took her in and cared for her, even when he realized that there was something horribly wrong with her. He took it in stride, caring for her and even loving her somewhat. He thought of her as his penance. She was his punishment for inadvertently killing Lily Evans and so many others. She was his punishment for every horrible thing he'd done in his life. It was Karma, pure and simple, Severus was sure. That was why he didn't refuse her when he'd discovered that she was alive in her mother's cold arms five years ago. That's why he didn't immediately send her to an orphanage when he discovered that she was mentally retarded and suffered from severe hemophilia which was easily remedied through several treatments during the first few years of her life. You could not ignore Karma or discard what ever it threw your way because it would always come back.

All in all he was proud of the progress he'd managed to make with India, though he'd never admit it out loud. The healer he'd taken her to when she was six months old was sure she wouldn't live to see the age of two. The healer was sure that even if she did, she'd never walk, she'd never talk and she'd never be able to do magic. The healer wanted Severus to leave little India there at St. Mungo's where she'd be properly taken care of in their long term care ward until she passed on which the healer was sure was bound to happen and happen soon. The healer thought it would ease the burden on Severus and was sure that Severus would incompetent in taking care of a child such as India. Severus refused. He was determined to prove the stupid healer wrong and the drive to do so was fueled upon the fact that the healer had gone to school with Severus and was a Gryffindor.

Even through during the first year and a half of her life India mainly just slept and ate, Severus brewed potions that would strengthen her bones and another potion to help her body develop the way it was supposed to, though it didn't work thoroughly. Her arms still hung at odd angles, her fingers were some what twisted and gnarled but the rest of her grew like it was supposed to. It would have taken so much longer for her body to catch up with her age with out the potions but they regulated the process like they were supposed to. Little by little, India began to improve in strength and mobility. She was crawling at the age of three and a half and Severus could never forget the day she took her first step one year ago.

People, mainly his colleagues at Hogwarts, thought he was a bit odd for not just giving India up. She consumed much of his time and he didn't seem to be the sort of person who had the strength nor the patience to take care of such a child. He'd heard their whispered discussions of him in the teacher's lounge and in the hall ways when he would creep up behind them silently only to embarrass them. They thought his plight to be interesting. Most thought it was a desperate attempt to cling on to his late wife. The truth was, Severus could give two shits about Maizie. It wasn't her fault, he knew, that India turned out the way she did but the fact was she had cheated on him. For that he wasn't able to forgive her but he didn't consume his thoughts. She was dead and India was alive and that was all that mattered. No one saw the progress he made with India but him. They had no clue. They had no clue whatsoever and as far as Severus was concerned it was none of their business.

Dumbledore was the only person who could clearly understand Severus' predicament. He was the only one that Severus really confided in, not that he had much of a choice. Dumbledore had a very wide range of understanding so it was just easier to get it all out in the open because Dumbledore would know even if Severus didn't want him to. It was Dumbledore who had referred him to Madame Ambrose's Home for the Magically Disabled. Severus thought the idea was completely awful. He didn't want to send India to some home where they would coddle her when he could teach her what she needed to be taught right there under his watchful eye.

"There will come a time when you will not be able to take care of her the way you wish, Severus," Dumbledore had told him. "I know it's a hard decision to make and it brings me joy to see the pride in your eyes when you've had a breakthrough with her but the fact is the more she grows, the harder it will be to care for her the way she needs to be cared for."

Of course, he was right. He was always right. But Severus still did not want to send her to the home. In a moment of stupidity, he'd taken her to Lucius to see what Lucius could do for her. Perhaps Lucius could keep her and hire a more qualified nurse to care and Severus would use all of his spare time to teach her what she needed to be taught. Of course, in all likelihood, India would turn out to be a squib. Lucius didn't like that. He didn't like that one bit.

"I cannot accept her," Lucius had said. "The Malfoy reputation is already tarnished enough and I've worked so hard to build it back up. If this were to get out, I'd have to work twice as hard…"

Lucius went on to admit that the reason he wanted Severus to marry Maizie was because he wanted to create another pureblooded line as well purify the Snape name. It had all been a theory and Lucius had realized this a little late in the game so he took it upon himself to inseminate Maizie himself in order to create a Snape heir. It was pure bullocks and Severus was furious when Lucius had admitted all of this. Lucius had apologized profusely despite his philosophy of never apologizing to any one for anything. He hadn't counted on the genetic faults of breeding with his half-sister nor had he counted on India turning out to be a girl. Even if she could get married, her last name would change and thusly eliminate the pureblooded Snapes. Lucius plan had failed and had ultimately cost Severus his wife and a normal offspring. It was only for the loss of Maizie Lucius regretted. Severus could see that Lucius did care for his sister a great deal and it was only because Lucius showed a sign of weakness that kept Severus from killing Lucius all together. Though, just like Maizie, Severus would never forgive Lucius for what he'd done. And just like Maizie, Severus wouldn't hate him for his mistake but it would not be forgotten. After all, they'd both paid the ultimate price for betraying Severus. What good would it do to hate them?

Lucius offered to pay all of India's expenses, under the table of course, but he'd have nothing to do with her other wise, not as a niece and definitely not as a daughter. Severus refused the money and was left with little choice on how to handle India. So there they were, in France, Massy to be exact.

"We're going to go visit a school," Severus told India as they trudged along. There were more people out than Severus would have liked and with out fail, most of them stopped and stared at the two of them for a moment. It happened everywhere they went. Severus hated taking India with him on his shopping trips into Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. People would glance at her for a split second and avert their eyes. The ones that were brave enough to stare openly at her usually wore an expression of sympathy. None of them ever looked Severus in the eye. If they had, they would have seen the cold rage he felt every time this happened.

"Soo," India chirped happily as if she knew what it was. He hadn't the heart to tell her he was going to just leave her there, not that she would understand what he was saying anyway. If he had told her, he would have showered her with promises of gifts and many visits but the sad truth was that he could only visit her once a month. Dumbledore had told him he would be allotted time off to visit her if he so chose but the thought of visiting India often with out a hope of being able to bring her back would just be too much. It had hit him stone cold in the middle of the night once while he pondered on what to do with her that she'd never get better. She'd always be retarded, Severus thought harshly. There was just no way that she'd ever be normal, no matter how hard Severus worked with her. It would be completely pointless to harbor any hope at all.

Dumbledore had sent away for some pamphlets for the home. It was small but privately funded but was equipped to take care of India. It started out as a school for squibs that'd been turned away by their families. It helped give said children a chance to learn what they needed to learn. It taught them coping skills and how to make a living in the magical world even with the lack of magical abilities. The Headmistress and founder of the home, Medina Ambrose, had decided to expand to a wider variety of cases after a few years of successful teaching. Severus slowly realized that India would be better off if he sent her there. He'd written the Headmistress, explained the situation and inquired on the tuition fee and living expenses for his surrogate daughter. She'd written back inviting him and India to take a tour of the school and told him that India's admittance into the home was a sure thing and if he was impressed with what he saw on his visit, they'd be ready to take India in then and there with little cost to Severus. The home encouraged parent/student interaction and if he was willing to take an active role in India's education and development, she'd be more than willing to discuss a sliding fee on the tuition. Severus didn't care about the cost. If there was nothing suspicious about the home, he was prepared to leave India there.

The school was located on a corner lot, though it didn't look like a school from the outside. From the outside it was called _"Ambrose Watch and Clock Repair."_ It looked completely abandoned. The large dusty display window had a large sign pasted up that read "Closed for repairs" in French. Several various clocks filled the shelves that were lined just inside the window, making it hard to see inside. Severus looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to him. The block was almost completely deserted, save for a few shop keepers who were closing up for the day. They paid no mind to Severus as he made to peer into the shop before discretely knocking softly three times on the glass. India was examining the clocks in the window with a curious eye. The sign on the window morphed into a large metal door. Severus pushed it open and gently pulled India inside with him before the door snapped too behind him.

Inside was a very clean looking hallway, the walls white and bare with linoleum tile adorning the floors. There were several metal doors identical to the one outside lining the walls. A sign hanging from the ceiling declared this the administration wing. Down a way there was a woman sitting behind a desk, looking extremely bored as she flipped dully through a magazine. Severus prayed she wasn't Madame Ambrose. He approached the desk and cleared his throat loudly.

"I wrote several weeks ago…"

"And you are?" The woman's accent was French.

"I'm Severus Snape, here to see Madame Ambrose," he said, glancing around nervously.

"One moment please," she said. She pulled a large leather bound booklet from a desk door and dropped it heavily on the desk. She flipped through it, and paid no mind to either Severus or India who was starting to get bored and impatient as she grunted and shuffled her feet. She couldn't stay still for very long but Severus thought it prudent to keep her in line for the time being rather than letting her wonder around under his watchful eye like he normally did. He feared that if she got into one of her moods, she'd be inconsolable and would be deemed too out of control –which she really wasn't- for admittance. He just hoped the woman behind the infernal desk would hurry up so he could keep India moving.

"Oui," the woman finally said as she closed the book. "Mademoiselle is in her office. Third door on ze left."

Severus thanked her quietly just grateful to be away from her some what abrasive mannerisms. India was grateful to be moving again though she was a bit too enthusiastic with her movements and nearly fell. Severus had to lightly chastise her but she was so delighted to be somewhere new for a change she hardly heard him.

Madam Ambrose, as it turned out, was a fairly attractive woman. Severus expected some one much older than the woman who sat before them behind a handsome mahogany desk. She was dressed stylishly but yet conservatively in a muggle pant suit though she wore heavy, dark dramatic make up which contrasted quite nicely with her dark hair that she wore in a loose bun. She was waiting on him with a pressed smile as he entered. She sat stiffly and welcomed them in a husky low voice that seemed to bounce around in Severus' ears.

"Professor Snape," she said as she rose from her seat. Her voice rather startled Severus. He'd expected her to be French but she was just as English as he was. "It's a pleasure. I think you'll find the Home to be a suitable, warm and friendly environment for little India."

Madam Ambrose bent down in front of India and held out her hand for the little girl to shake

.

"My name is Medina," she said. "What's yours?"

India stared at Madam Ambrose's out stretched palm with what seemed to be confused wonder. No one other than Severus and Dumbledore talked to her like she was a person. She didn't know that she was supposed to answer back nor did she know what a handshake meant.

"She's a bit…" Severus started to explain it to Madam Ambrose but couldn't quite finish his thought. Madam Ambrose tweaked India's nose lightly and smiled pleasantly as she pulled a sweet from her pocket and handed it to India. India squealed with delight as she fumbled to unwrap it. Madam Ambrose rose and held out her hand for Severus to shake.

"As you've heard, my name is Medina Ambrose, formally Madam Ambrose but I prefer to be called Medina," she said as she shook Severus' hand. Her grip was firm but the shake was light and airy. Her seemingly effortless confidence put Severus at ease.

"Shall we start with the tour," Medina asked and took a step back, allowing Severus to exit her office with India who was sucking happily on her sweet. "If you'll allow me, I'd like to explain a bit about the Home's history…"

And so, she led them down the hall way and around the corner through the building as she explained just how the Home as she referred to it came to be. Medina had been born into a very refined pureblooded family. She was the youngest and only girl out of four children and as such was very spoiled she explained with flirty laughter. All of her older brothers loved her very much but not as much as her eldest brother, Dante, did. Dante had been a squib and a right disgrace according to her parents. While the rest of her brothers joined You-Know-Who's ranks, Dante actually made something of him self in the muggle world but still could not gain his parents approval. Ultimately, he committed suicide which broke Medina's heart in two. She went in to a terrible depression as she was only nineteen at the time of his death. But then she met a wonderful man by the name of Darnell Ambrose who would become her husband. Darnell was also a squib and had been raised in an orphanage right there in Massy after his parents deemed him completely useless and abandoned him. Medina fell head over heels for him and eventually married him. Of course, her happiness did not last long. Shortly after the birth of her first and only child, Darnell was murdered brutally in his home after a particularly vicious Death Eater raid. Again, Medina was sent spiraling into a dark depression only this time she had a child to take care of.

"But after the tragic passing of my husband, I decided that rather than spending my time mourning the loss of him, I should help those who were just like my husband and my brother and thus the Home was born," Medina said as she led them through to another hallway. "I want to help those who were abandoned find a home and a life. People who are unable to help themselves, just like your daughter. And none of it would be possible with out my wonderful staff."

Severus hadn't told her that India was not actually his daughter, that he was the last person she had on this earth but said nothing otherwise. It was just easier for people to just assume.

"We offer many courses in regular academic education as well as courses in magic such as History of Magic and Potions. You'd be surprised at how well many squibs fare in Potions," Medina said as she led them down a corridor of classrooms. It was late so most of the classrooms were abandoned, save for the few that were being cared for by the janitorial squad. "And of course, we teach career courses along with employment placement with housing benefits. Many of our residents go on to university."

She showed them where the dormitories were, where the kitchens were located and explained the reward system for doing chores and getting good grades in their schooling. Honestly, none of it interested Severus. Madam Ambrose was nice enough but Severus wanted to take India back to Hogwarts and keep her there, safe and locked away from the world for ever. Medina must have sensed his reluctance so she took them to what she called the recreational area. It was an open area that was enclosed by the building but plenty of sunlight seeped through and illuminated the area quite prettily. Grass covered the spacious lawn as several normal looking people that ranged in different ages integrated and conversed. In a far corner there was a playground where children screamed and hollered as they chased each other around on the toys. They all seemed to be normal despite their disabilities.

"We like to encourage social lives for our residents," Medina said. "The recreational area is where we all gather, staff and resident, to commune."

The sight of it to a person who didn't know where they were or what was going on would have been just an every day sight but it was almost overwhelming to Severus who had never thought of the possibility of India ever having a friend or playing like a normal child would. He looked down at the little girl and for the first time ever he saw a want within her. It scared him but it also made him sad. By isolating her like he had, he'd prevented her from becoming normal in that aspect. She needed interaction with other people, with other kids. She wanted that and he'd kept her from that.

"If you'd like, I could have a staff member watch after her while you and I finish our tour," Medina suggested. India looked up at Severus as though she'd understood what Medina had said. Maybe she was learning to comprehend much more than Severus had credited her for.

"I suppose," Severus said carefully. Medina beckoned over a man, a bit on in age but no older than Severus himself. Medina instructed him to keep a careful watch out on India who was a potential new resident. The staff member offered his hand to India who did not take it.

"It's alright, India," Medina said. "Sam is your friend."

India looked up at Severus once more, seeking his approval. He nodded slightly and watched as Sam the Staffer led India off to play on a playground for the first time in her life. Sam was gentle and caring with India but did not coddle her as though she were some precious valuable which made Severus nervous. Sure, he hated it when people were cautious around her, scared to say the wrong thing or not sure what to say at all, but this was the beginning of a new life for both her and Severus. It felt wrong. But something told him she'd be happy here and that she'd be safe, well fed and well taught.

"I'd like to take you to one more class room before we head back to my office to discuss tuition and the legalities of this transition," Medina said as she gently took Severus arm and led him back inside as if he were cattle. He wanted to throw her off of him, fetch India and go home for the umpteenth time but couldn't bring himself to do it.

She'd guided him to a class room that was large and well lit with posters plastering the walls and several instruments such as harmonicas and tambourines lying around in complete disarray. There was a girl with long blond hair and muggle attire in the middle of the class room, hunched over with her hands full of said instruments. It took Severus a moment to realize that she was picking them up.

"Ella," Medina called as she strode into the class room with Severus following quietly behind her. The girl looked up, looking startled. "There's some one I'd like you to meet."

Ella smiled back at Medina and then peered over her shoulder at Severus. There was something familiar about her and apparently there was something familiar about him to her as her face lit up.

"Oh, hello Professor," she said.

Ella Ambrose, Severus thought, her name coming to him a bit too late. She was a Hufflepuff student about to enter her seventh year at Hogwarts. He'd failed the see the connection before but now it was quite clear and he just wanted to leave.

"Oh," Medina said as she glanced back at Severus. "You two know each other?"

"Oh yes, he's my Potion's professor," Ella said as she dropped instruments she carried into a plastic tub. She dusted her hands off on her pants. Severus thought for a moment she was going to offer her hand to shake but she didn't.

"I guess I forgot to ask what position he teaches at Hogwarts," Medina said with her eyebrows furrowed. "Or else I would've known it was quite pointless to introduce you."

"Oh, Mum," Ella sighed. "Don't beat yourself up over it."

Medina's lips tightened into a strained smile as she tried to take her daughter's advice. Severus could see that Medina felt terribly embarrassed. Ella merely gave an awkward smile to who mother before she turned to him.

"What brings you to this neck of the woods? Oh wait," Ella said as she squinted at him. "Mum said something about finding a regular potions supplier for the Home… I didn't know you had an independent business, but it makes sense…teacher's salary isn't the best…"

"Professor Snape is taking a tour of the school with his daughter," Medina said as she took a sideways glance at Severus.

"I wasn't aware that you're married," Ella said with a confused look.

"I'm not," he straightened his back a little, hoping it would make him look dignified. "My wife is dead. She died while giving birth."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Ella said as she pushed a lock of unruly blonde hair out of her face. Severus wasn't sorry, and for that he felt bad about but what was the point of feeling sorry for some one who did it to themselves? It did no good to deny truth. Perhaps that made him an awful person but he didn't care. "What's your daughter's name?"

"India," he replied. "And she's not my daughter. I'm merely caring for her since neither of her parents is able to. India is severely mentally retarded, you see. I've only been able to care for her for so long before I was convinced I should pass the buck to some one else." It came out sounding bitter and a seething anger had submerged in his mind again. India was his, damn it.

"Who are her parents," Ella asked, wide eyed.

"Close friends of mine," he merely said. He didn't feel the need to explain the situation, especially since she was a student of his. He didn't want his students thinking he was anything remotely close to caring because he wasn't. He'd learned that a long time ago.

"She's quite brilliant with the kids," Medina said as she led him back to her office and shut the door carefully behind her. "She's been working with the wee ones since she turned thirteen. She aspires to be a Healer, one of the only that specializes in children. Well in this neck of the woods anyway." Severus sat down and watched as she bustled about as pieces of parchment swirled around the room before finally landing on a neat pile in on her desk. "She passed the medi-witch certification exam last June. She's been interning under the medi-witch at Hogwarts since fifth year. She's going to start interning here, once a month when next term starts. Professors Sprout and Dumbledore agreed to let her."

If Severus had gave two shits about this woman's daughter, he might've of been impressed, but mainly he was too busy thinking of India and what she was doing at that moment or if he'd get a chance to tell her good bye. Even if it were so, would she even care?

"Now, I've taken the liberty of drawing up the contracts from the Ministry to place her under my care," Medina said as she pulled a piece of parchment from the pile on her desk and presented it to Severus. Severus poured over it before reaching for a quill, frowning slightly.

"I'm not quite sure I'm comfortable with this…"he started. "_And I hereby grant complete guardianship to Medina Ambrose in case I, Severus Snape, am unable to care for India Snape no matter the circumstances…_"

"Oh, just a formality. If she needs emergency medical attention that my staff cannot provide her with, you're just giving me permission to take her else where," Medina said. Severus still was unsure. It sounded like it was much more than that but he wasn't actually her father so how much say did he actually have? That in mind, he signed the paper, still unsure of it but it seemed necessary. "We also have a lot of abandoned children here. A lot of parents would rather write off their disabled children. It's just easier to deal with things if I have complete custody."

Severus looked down at the paper, completely horrified. His signature already stained the parchment and the Ministry seal was glowing, telling them that an official copy had been made and was being stored away for safe keeping in London. Not that he had legally adopted India, it would require a hearing before the Wizengamot, something he wasn't prepared to deal with. He wasn't even sure what her legal last name was. It settled his mind to think that it might be the loophole that could save his blunder if worse came to worst

.

"I plan on taking her back when I'm to retire from Hogwarts," Severus stated.

"Oh, that's fine, I'm glad actually. When that time comes, I'll gladly sign the release papers. It's not as complicated as you might think it is Professor. We just have to take certain legal action to prevent certain situations where a child might be placed back into an unfit home. I'm sure you understand that I think you're nothing of the sort but the way English and French magical law is set up, it is one hundred percent necessary."

Severus merely nodded stiffly, a bit more at ease but not completely cured of his anxiety over the situation. What was even more was that they hadn't even begun to discuss payment. Medina seemed completely carefree as she prattled on and on about why he would be satisfied with his decision and went on about how many prestigious awards the Home had received. She even went on to state how she was up for some sort of do gooder award that the Ministry gave away to normal yokels so they could feel better about themselves. Severus tried to look impressed but nothing bothered him more than a braggart.

"It is my only wish that Ella carry on my work into the next generation. I'd hate to see all of my hard work go to waste. Not that I don't think she's incapable, but she's had to work hard for all she's achieved. I've pushed her so, but I don't regret it," Medina said, looking quite troubled. She leaned forward and placed her perfectly manicured hands in front of her. "She's excelled quite nicely and was offered the Head Girl position. She's not sure she should take it because she's not doing so well in potions."

Severus stared blankly at her. As far as he knew, Ella Ambrose did alright in potions, not that he worried too greatly on it. She hadn't done terribly so what was this woman prattling on about? He understood a parent being concerned about the wellbeing and future of their child but this woman seemed to be frantic about hers, as though she was the one who'd come off looking bad if her daughter did not succeed.

"She does satisfactory work," Severus said stiffly.

"Satisfactory doesn't cut it in this world, Professor."

"She made it into my N.E.W.T class and has passed on to the next one."

"I'm going to be very blunt, Professor," Medina said, looking very serious and some what dangerous. Severus was under the impression that he was about to be threatened but the fact was he didn't feel intimidated in the very least. "I know you don't get paid the best…"

"And why should I? I'm provided with the necessities. Food, housing and medical care if I should need it."

Medina looked at him for a second, analyzing him. She wasn't quite sure what to make of him and it made him feel wonderfully in control for the first time upon meeting her. He had her daughter's future in his hands, he was aware but the feeling soon passed when he realized the same about her and his.

"I'm willing to cut tuition completely if you'll agree to tutor my daughter privately," said Medina. "I'm not asking you to give her a free grade for nothing, I want her to work for it but I'm aware that she's struggling and I'm willing to do anything to help her."

"That is completely unnecessary," Severus snapped. He scowled heavily at her. He wasn't one to be bribed. "There are students who could help her."

"But none of them are as well learned in potion making as you are!" Her tone was loud, her face slightly flushed with annoyance and frustration at his stubbornness. "I'm offering you quite a deal, Professor, and you're being completely insubordinate! I'm sure you know what it is to want the best for your child. I want the same things and we could help each other out!"

"You were in Slytherin weren't you?"

Medina's angry demeanor faded in to confusion.

"I was, not that it matters."

"It shows, a great deal, actually."

They stared at each other for what seemed to be hours on end, trying to figure what the other was thinking and trying to figure out the next move, if there was to be one. Severus realized that if he did not accept her offer, she could make his life a living hell or worse yet, make India's life more complicated than it already was. He felt some what trapped but he realized she was thinking the exact same thing. They'd been thinking the same things since the conversation began.

"Alright," he said finally. "I accept your offer. But do not expect me to coddle your daughter."

"Excellent," Medina said brightly. "And I never coddled her, so I wouldn't ever expect you to do so either."

"However," Severus began. "I want the best treatment for India. I want her in the best classes you have, I want her to have her own private dorm and I want her well being to be top priority."

"I'm sure you realize that I can't place her before any other children…"

"I'm sure you realize that there are dozens of other students struggling in potions as well as your daughter. If I start tutoring her, I could tutor many others as well and she wouldn't get much time with me at all."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were threatening me…"

"That's because you don't. And I am. Take it or leave it, Madam."

And so she did, though she wasn't happy about it. Severus Snape flooed back to Hogwarts that night and fell asleep with a faint smile on his face. Oddly enough, he couldn't wait for the new term to begin.

* * *

Author's Note: 3 reviews for the prologue. Not bad at all. Thank you kindly to those of you who did and I hope everyone of you will keep reviewing and for you lurkers, come on. Review. You know you want to -wiggles eyebrows-


	3. Chapter 2: Oneness

**Chapter 2**

**Oneness **

Ella Ambrose woke up at exactly four A.M. on September second. After she woke up and was able to separate her dreams from reality, the same anxious feelings began to bubble in her stomach. If it hadn't been for Maura Pritchard deciding to home school for her seventh and final year of magical learning, Ella wouldn't be Head Girl. She wished she wasn't. It was too much responsibility. She had to patrol the hallways four days a week until two in the morning which meant her sleep would be drastically cut. It was N.E.W.T year which only cut into her sleeping even more but she couldn't rightly turn the position of Head Girl down. She was the first Hufflepuff Head in a long time and her house kept smiling at her and congratulating her. She was a hero of sorts and it was only that thought that kept her from going straight to Dumbledore's office and turning in her badge and fez.

Ella sat up and stretched slightly as she listening to the other three girls in her year snore and sigh in their sleep. She envied them a great deal. They were, well, normal. It was something Ella had never experienced but longed for. But she had to get up. She had tutoring with Professor Snape at five and the lessons would continue until breakfast time. She silently thanked what ever omnipotent being that controlled the universe for the fact that she only had extra Potions once during the school week and then twice on the weekends. She'd scheduled it early on purpose, thinking Professor Snape would be less grouchy if he were fresh and hadn't taught dunderheads all day though she wanted nothing more than to smack her mother when he'd sent that letter weeks ago, demanding to schedule lessons because her mum had asked him to tutor her. She was horrified thinking that tutor was the wrong word and that torture had been more appropriate. Ella was convinced that her mother was trying to send her into an early grave. But Mother knows best, Ella thought as she sighed. Potions were her weak spot and her mother wanted her to bulk up. There was never any harm in being educated.

At a quarter till five, Ella gathered her books and shoved them all into her book bag and headed towards the dungeons. The castle was strangely quiet though Ella sort of preferred it that way. She didn't feel as though she were being crowded or stared at constantly. It was like a breath of fresh air that was until she entered the dungeon layer and then the darkness and solitude was just creepy. She had always hated it down there. The air was musky and chilly. She had to constantly wear a jumper to keep from shivering and all the Slytherin students seemed to be paler than the rest of the school due to the lack of natural sunlight in the dungeons. No wonder Professor Snape was grouchy. He never saw the light of day. And then another thought struck Ella.

She hadn't thought back to that day at the Home for a while now. She'd been surprised to find her Potion's Professor in the Home, the place she practically grew up in. What was even more surprising was the fact that he had been married at one point. And India Snape was a completely different story. Because she wasn't actually his daughter, it surprised Ella to find out that he'd given India a home. A random act of kindness? Or an obligation? The latter seemed to be more logical but India seemed very well cared for. It wasn't like she was in rags nor was skinny from lack of nourishment.

Ella had taken quite a liking to little India. She was a very spirited little girl and had such an infectious giggle that Ella couldn't help but smile when ever she saw her. Even though she wasn't looking forward to interning at the Home through the school year, she looked forward to seeing India who seemed to like Ella as much as she liked her. Despite her disabilities, India was truly a beautiful little girl.

The Potions classroom was empty and dark but not locked. Ella expected he was in his office which could be accessed across the hall. She stumbled out of the classroom and to his office door wondering if she'd scheduled this a bit too early for him and she was ten minutes early. He was probably asleep yet. Before she could hesitate and turn, the door opened.

Professor Snape was fresh faced but awake and dressed none the less. The office was glowing with the light of a crackling fire and the aroma of coffee filled the air. Ella's eyes fell on the source. There was a fresh pot of it sitting on his desk.

"Would you mind?" She asked, gesturing towards it.

"Not at all," Professor Snape said as he took a seat behind his desk. Ella found two white ceramic coffee mugs sitting face down near the pot and poured her self a cup, feeling some what embarrassed. She'd developed a need for coffee in fifth year when she was studying nonstop. But no matter how odd it was to drink coffee in front of the Professor, the instant the hot bitter liquid touched her lips, she instantly felt refreshed and awake.

"Not used to getting up so early in the mornings," Ella commented as she took a seat in front of his desk.

"I figured as much," he said as he nodded his head toward the coffee pot. Ella blushed. "At any rate, we have much to do, so enough chit chat."

"Yes sir."

"Now tell me, Miss Ambrose, what exactly you feel you are lacking in my class?"

"Well," Ella started. "It's not so much potion making."

Professor Snape raised an eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair and surveyed her. Ella shifted in her seat, feeling a bit uncomfortable under his gaze.

"It's theory then?"

"Well, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"I don't think I'm really struggling in Potions at all. My mum seems to think I'm not doing as well as I should be so with all due respect, taking extra lessons really isn't on my top priority list." Ella regretted saying it instantly. She was afraid she'd offend him some how. But being faced with a problem, Ella was a talker, a negotiator rather than a fighter. An honest one at that, which she found could be some what bothersome.

"I appreciate your…honesty, but I didn't get up at five o clock in the morning to sit here and listen to you whine. You're lucky I'm even doing this for you."

"Then, yes, I have the most trouble with theory," Ella said, trying hard not to cry.

"I find that odd," said Professor Snape. "Most people have trouble with brewing. Most find that you can even cheat their way through theory by simply copying text and changing the words. How is that you are able to brew a potion with no trouble at all but yet struggle with theory?"

"Well, it's not rocket science is it?" Ella retorted.

"It's more complex than you realize," he was scowling now as he spoke. Ella knew it was a matter of time before she upset him completely which would not end well on her part.

"Its complex, I agree, but it's not hard to follow instruction," Ella said as she thought on what to say next. "It's simple when you have it painted in front of you, on the black board or in the text book. I find it odd that people struggle with it like they do."

"I don't. Students struggle with it because they don't know how to follow directions."

"A logical deduction," Ella said as she braved a small smile. The Professor didn't think it was so funny.

"I don't have time for jokes," he said quietly. "If you want my help then I suggest you sit down, keep your mouth shut and listen, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," Ella whispered as she shrunk into her seat. The Professor stood and began to pace behind his desk.

"Now, theory isn't something that's easily learned. You can't practice it nor can you memorize it. You have to teach your brain to retain information without over doing it. And I feel that maybe the best way to start."

Ella watched as he stood up and swept to his bookcase, pulling off a few books at a time before piling them before her on his desk. She stared dumbly at them. Some of the titles weren't even in English. The only other language she spoke fluently was French and there were none titled in French either.

"These are history books, which you will be learning from during our lessons. It's not standardized material and most would think it a waste of time but I find they will be most useful in helping you retain knowledge."

"What are they about? Potions, right?"

"No," he said with a small smile. "These are books about ancient practices to help one find inner peace and to rid themselves of internal turmoil. They help to discipline your mind to focus."

"You mean meditation?"

"Correct," said Snape.

"I don't want to sound rude, Professor, but that seems completely out there, I mean by your standards anyway."

He looked at her this time with a strange look in his eye. His dark eyes poured over her hazel as though he were trying to figure out something about her. Perhaps she'd said something wrong and he was offended. Ella tried to look back with equal intensity but couldn't do it. All she could do was avert her eyes. It took a strong person to put up with Snape, Ella realized. She was strong but she wasn't sure she was strong enough. He'd said nothing rude to her so far and treated her better than he treated some other people. Ella supposed she was on his tolerable list if such a thing existed though she wasn't sure how many more lessons it would take to change that.

"My standards, Miss Ambrose? What do you mean by that?"

Ella bit her lip. What did she mean by that? She wasn't sure.

"I just...You don't seem like the type of person that would practice those sort of thing."

"I don't anymore, but I did at one point," he said. "I find that I do it naturally now, I've conditioned myself to that point but it took a while to get there. Are you taking notes?"

Ella was so surprised by the last comment she nearly jumped. She hadn't thought it would be necessary to take notes at that point, especially if all they were going to learn was meditation. She reached into her book bag and pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill and an inkpot and laid it out before her on his desk. He seemed satisfied by the initiative at least.

"During my fourth year, I believe it was, here at Hogwarts, I started studying religion. I'm not sure what I was looking for exactly, answers maybe but I found it completely pointless. Religion isn't necessarily a good thing."

"You grew up with muggles, didn't you?"

"Not exactly. One muggle, my father. I grew up in a mostly muggle community," he said. "I found most of them to be hollow, meaningless. They all taught the same things essentially. That was, until I started studying Buddhism. It's different, to say the least and I'm not quite sure if I could classify it as a religion. It's a way of life."

"Way of life," Ella muttered to herself as she started scribbling. "Not a religion. Got it."

"Are you finished? We've got an hour left and there's a lot to be taught."

"Yes sir," Ella said apologetically. It was interesting, she thought, to learn about some of his past. She had assumed he was a Pureblood on account of him being the Head of Slytherin. He had to be one of the only Half-Bloods in the past few decades that had made it into the Slytherin house.

"At any rate, the Buddhists teach oneness, sameness. They practice meditation to reach a state of mind that unites them with the universe, which is everything. Bliss, Nirvana. But I find it's the easiest way to clear my mind after a rather tiresome day. I started practicing meditation the summer after my fourth year and well into my adult life."

"But how will it help me? No offense, but I'm still confused," Ella said worriedly.

"You've met India have you not?"

Ella nodded. She sort of got the feeling that India was the Professor's dirty little secret but he was able to acknowledge it so casually. "She's quite lovely actually," Ella added to her nonverbal response.

"Yes, I like to think so, but she's very advanced for her condition and age. Though it's hard to tell, she's able to retain knowledge, better even than most normal children her age."

"You know," Ella said giving Snape a queer look. "I teach music classes during the summer to the children at the Home but none of them are adept to it as India is. I'm sure this hasn't been mentioned in her progress reports, but she can mimic the notes I play on piano." He raised an eyebrow at her. It was completely new to him. "I'm completely serious, Professor. I mean it's not perfect nor is it very complicated but my mum likes me to assess the children and none of them have ever done that well. Did you teach her that?"

"Not exactly," The Professor said. "But I taught her to concentrate. I taught her how to meditate inadvertently though she doesn't know the concept, but I was able to ingrain the need to clear her mind in order to hear whether she comprehends or not. I'm still not sure what her comprehension level is but if what you're telling me is true then it's developing quite well. I'm glad to hear she's at least able to learn more than what I could teach her."

"That's amazing," Ella said her eyes wide with wonder. "I mean, it's brilliant. You must be some sort of genius to be able to teach a child like India all of that."

"I'm no genius, Miss Ambrose. I just know how to teach and how to be taught," he replied soberly. "This isn't a waste of time, I assure you. If you want to be taught than I can teach you but if you're unwilling then you should leave."

"Oh no, I'm completely sold," Ella told him. "I'm just completely flabbergasted…I didn't know meditation was so effective and I certainly had no idea you could teach it to a small retarded girl like India let alone that it'd actually help her."

"What did you call her?"

Ella instantly realized her mistake. "I'm sorry, that just sort of slipped out. I don't know the proper term for her condition…I'm terribly sorry…I didn't mean to offend."

"No," The Professor said. "No one has ever called her that before."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, I promise. But she is what she is."

"Everyone is so horribly apologetic for calling her 'disabled,' or 'handicapped.' No one has ever called her retarded out loud before. It's refreshing in a way that you're not uptight about not offending me or her because do honestly think she cares?"

"Not really," Ella admitted. "I've worked around a few retarded children before and they're exceedingly happy most of the time. And even if they are aware that they're retarded I honestly don't think it matters to them. I've always wanted to harbor that sort of carelessness. Knowledge can be such a curse."

"Exactly," Severus said. "You're very smart in that sense, Miss Ambrose. I'm just glad that India has some one like you around to influence her and her attitude."

"Thank you," Ella said completely bewildered. He'd never complimented any one the way he just complimented her as far as she knew, especially not students. It made her some what uncomfortable to be perfectly honest. She wasn't sure she liked sharing an intimate moment of understanding with her notoriously grumpy Potions' professor.

"Now, back on subject," Snape cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, causing curtains of shiny black hair to fall in his face. He seemed startled and Ella sort of was too. She'd never seen him caught off guard nor had she ever thought he'd harbored to capability to share intimate details of his personal life with any one, let alone some insignificant Hufflepuff. "What I want you to do is to learn breathing exercises. It's not something I encourage the rest of the students to do but I think that you have a lot on your plate, more so than most students. Gaining the Head Girl position tends to do that. You're an over achiever which is something I will not allow you to do during these private lessons. While time is of the essence, if you'll pardon the cliché, some things cannot be rushed and you must realize a lot of what we will be doing will not involve potions for the first dozen or so lessons."

"I understand," Ella said, inclining her head.

"Now," he said as he picked a book from the stack. "This book is about breathing and learning to concentrate. Discipline if you will."

"It's not in English," Ella said as she took the book from it and opened the cover.

"I'm well aware of that fact," he said shortly. "If you'll look, every thing is clearly illustrated. Assuming you're intelligent, you don't need to know any other language to understand. I do not expect you to learn any of the dead language that most of these ancient texts are written in. Though if what I'm trying to teach you works at all, you'll be able to retain some sort of simple understanding."

Ella leafed through the book and found that he was correct. There were several diagrams of large ancient Romanesque faces with close set eyes, narrow noses and plump mouths. A lot of them had large wavy lines printed underneath the nose, indicating the passage and inhalation of breath. The patterns were clearly illustrated. Long breaths were shown as long curly lines flowing up ward into the nose while shorter breaths were indicated by short choppy waves. Ella understood that the straight lines coming from the mouth were meant to be exhalation. Simple, she thought and even found herself copying and putting the diagrams into practical use.

"You get the gist, I see."

Ella looked up and smiled. He gave her a slight smile in return. She hadn't realized what she was doing was noticeable but apparently he'd been observing her closely and measuring her reaction.

"This isn't turning out what I expected it to be at all," Ella commented as she looked down at the book. "You've caught me completely off guard."

"I'm not made of stone you know, though my reasons for doing this are slightly selfish."

"She didn't bribe you did she?"

"Your mother? No. We negotiated."

"I thought something seemed off when I got your letter," Ella said as she rolled her eyes.

"Typical. I hope what ever sort of deal you worked out wasn't too demanding on your part."

"Not more so than on her part," he replied simply. "She used you as a pawn as I used India. It was a very clean cut matter. It tends to be that way when two Slytherins lay down their demands."

"That doesn't make me feel any better," Ella said with a nervous giggle. "But I've learned to never question my mother's logic and I guess I'm learning not to questions yours."

"May I ask you something?" His voice dropped down to a low pitched whisper, his casual voice that he saved mainly for biting comments or non classroom related comments, questions or remarks. Of course Ella hadn't heard him use it much until now. Usually in the classroom he was more commanding and when he was speaking seriously it was completely obvious that he meant business. But this new side of him that Ella was witnessing seemed much more relaxed. Ella found her self thinking that he was almost likeable. "How is it that you ended up in Hufflepuff and not in Slytherin like your mother? How is it that though you were raised by her mainly that you are her complete opposite?"

"That's rather personal for your tastes don't you think?"

He raised an eyebrow but didn't seem to mind her tone. Of course how could he get angry if she was using his own personality traits against him? He couldn't she thought smugly. "I see that I am slightly wrong about you. I don't claim to know your mother but she shines through despite the fact."

"The thing is, Professor, I wasn't raised just by her. I was three when my father was killed and even afterward, I spent a lot of time in the Home, learning and playing along side the other children. When you grow up in that environment you learn complete acceptance. If every one of the residence were able to come to Hogwarts I can assure you that a good portion of them would be in Hufflepuff."

"Your mother didn't go into exact details about her husband," said Professor Snape offhandedly. "Other than the fact that he was a squib-"

"Magically challenged," Ella teased. He shot her a look and she clamped her mouth shut taken aback but not completely surprised by his sudden change in attitude.

"And that he was murdered by Death Eaters."

"He was a good man, from what Mum says and from what I remember. In fact, it was his idea to start the Home."

"Oh?"

Ella squirmed a bit. It was a touchy subject and while her mother hadn't been completely open, she dropped hints and details in small increments. Aside from her public persona, Medina Ambrose was a closed book. Not that it didn't bother Ella, but it was something she had to accept from a young age. Her mother was very tight lipped and told Ella that she should never wash dirty laundry in public especially if you had a lot at stake. As far as Ella knew there was really no dirty laundry as far as she knew but there were a few details that would shock some people.

"Yes, it was his idea. She told me it was his dream to help people like himself and though she claims it was hers but the reason she carried out his wishes was because she wanted to keep his memory alive. A tribute."

"That doesn't surprise me, to be honest."

"My mother is a Slytherin by default but she's ashamed of that fact. She's a good woman at heart, she really is. She just tries a little too hard to please."

"I guess that's all I really needed to know," he said quietly and averted his gaze from her eyes. "I couldn't rightly ask about what sort of woman I was leaving the care of my daughter into outright. Not that she'd tell me. It's always been my philosophy to find another source especially when it comes to a Slytherin."

"I understand," Ella said. She felt genuinely bad for him. She understood his concerns and she wanted badly to comfort him, to assure him that India was in perfectly capable hands. "She's doing well, though. She's happy enough, very sweet and very charming. Her social skills are a little lacking but she's coming out of her shell little by little."

"As I was told," he said. "It wasn't my intention to bring you in here and interrogate you about your mother."

"It's alright, really," Ella said. Before she could catch herself, she was reaching across the desk and patting his hand. He drew his hand back quickly as if he'd just been bitten by a snake. It was an inappropriate gesture, she was well aware of that fact, but it was in her nature to comfort and soothe a troubled person. She'd been doing it for most of her life and she just couldn't change that aspect of herself even for him.

"That's enough," he snapped. "Under no circumstances are you to touch me ever again."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-"

"Obviously not," he bit back. "I think I've taught you enough or at least given you an idea about what you'll be learning with me so I think its best that you leave and get a bit of rest in before you start classes."

"Alright," Ella said as she stood. She wasn't in the mood to argue with him and knew when to leave well enough alone.

So she left but didn't go back to bed. She spent the rest of the early morning studying and preparing herself and her mind for classes and even went as far as to practice some of the breathing exercises. Oddly enough, they seemed to help her concentrate through out the day and it wasn't until later that night as she patrolled the dungeons and sub basement of the school that she felt the effects of the early morning.

It was hard not to think of Snape and think of the way he drew back from her touch so quickly as if her touch would set him ablaze. Ella had to pass by his office several times and would do so more than once before her patrolling hours were complete. It was hard not to think of him. He'd been so different that morning. He seemed half way human.

Though Severus kept his office dark, he sat back behind his desk and watched as the female shadow passed by his office. The torch light through the frosted glass skewered his view quite a bit. Why he was even watching was beyond him. He was tired but not tired enough to go to bed. He couldn't function on any more than five hours of sleep. But he had a migraine and the light was too much so he just watched and tried not to think about how she'd spoken of India, like India was a normal child, as though there wasn't a thing wrong with her. It put him in a sad mood which wouldn't turn to anger no matter how hard he tried to make it so. He laid head on his desk and brought his arms to his head and applied pressure, rocking back and forth as though the motion would clear his mind of Ella and her touch. No one had ever tried to comfort him like that and to be honest it scared him. He didn't want to show that he was human because he didn't feel human. Things he did and the way he thought were not human.

Fifteen minutes passed. He could hear her soft footprints again and he looked up, suddenly alert. He watched her pass by once more, slowly, almost stopping as though she wanted to look in. But she kept going and soon her footsteps trailed off around the corner.

But then the oddest thing happened; there was another shadow, male, crouching just below the door, just the top of his head showing through the glass. Severus stood quietly, frowning as the boy snuck off. He knew he probably should have opened the door and scared who ever it was off, but his breath caught in his throat. He was scared. Scared that who ever it was would want to hurt him or more so bring harm to Ella. It was a stupid thought, he realized that, but there was something creepy about the dark that triggered his childhood fears and caused him to revert into his five year old mentality. He should have opened the door but who ever it was had rounded the corner, prowling sinisterly behind Ella. Severus stepped lightly out into the corridor and tip toed towards the source.

It was just a stupid prank, who ever it was wasn't out to hurt Ella or any body as he reached out and grabbed Ella from behind and clamped a hand over her mouth. Snape's heart leapt to his throat but after a second he could see what was going on. Ella let out a muffled shrieked and the shadow let go and snatched the fez from her head as he let her go. She stumbled forward and nearly fell but she caught her self.

"Nice fez, Am_gross,_" the boy said as he lit his wand. Ella turned around, her eyes lit with rage upon realizing who was playing this mean joke. Bertram Terrence, a seventh year Gryffindor and Ella Ambrose's arch enemy since at least third year, grinned lazily at her. From the moment Bertram "Buck" Terrence entered the classroom, Snape instantly disliked him as Buck had come from the exact same mold as James Potter had.

Though Snape hadn't witnessed it himself, the other teachers liked to tell the story of the time Buck had put frog spawn in Ella's backpack right before Charms and when she reached into her bag for her book her hands had come out covered in green slime and warts. She'd cursed him right then and there and knocked him cold out for a good twelve hours. The first and only time Ella Ambrose served detention and the last time any one other than Buck had tried to mess with Ella. They'd be reprimanded several times for confrontation in the hallways but it never got so out of hand that Severus had saw fit to give either of them a detention for. Petty name calling. He never stopped it when maybe he should have.

So it wasn't entirely out of character for Buck Terrence to pull such a mean prank on Ella but Severus didn't try to interfere. He wanted to see how Ella would respond. Mostly he hoped she would kill him. He'd turn a blind eye if she did.

"_You absolute prick," _Ella hissed at Buck who tossed her fez back and forth between his hands.

"What's the matter? I didn't scare you did I?"

"_Give it back!" _

Ella lunged for the fez but Buck merely held it above his head. He was at least a good six inches taller than she was though it didn't stop her from trying to jump and grab it as she let out grunts of frustration. It was at that point that Severus did consider interfering and making the insolent boy give the dratted fez back but he stood frozen in place, hoping Ella would pull out her wand and take it back. What good would it do to get it back for her? She had to learn to do things her self right? But he felt oddly protective of her and as the scene played out before him, anger began to rise in his chest.

The oddest thing happened, however. Buck merely grabbed her wrists forcefully with one strong hand and pushed her up against the stone wall, the fez still trapped in his hand above his head. Again, Severus grew fearful of Ella's wellbeing but her angry expression didn't fade.

"To be honest, I don't think it does you much justice," he said.

"Just what are you trying to say," Ella asked, her chest heaving in fury, her eyebrows furrowed in disgust and Buck leaned in and brought his face close to hers. Severus thought he was going to whisper something in her ear but much to his surprise, Buck's lips pressed down on Ella's and even more surprisingly, she met his lips eagerly and even went so far as to wrap one leg around his waist. He groped at the bottom of her robes, trying to pull them up and off of her but she wrenched one of her hands free from his grasp and held them down.

"God, I missed you," Buck moaned between kisses.

"I'm sure you didn't," Ella gasped as she tried to push him away from her. "I'm sure Nora kept you company."

Buck pulled away and shook his head at Ella. It was apparent to Severus that they were having some sort of secret tryst in the midst of their public hatred that no one was aware of, not even Nora Stein, Buck's Ravenclaw girlfriend.

"Well, no, actually," Buck said after a moment.

"So you gave her the sack?"

"Not…exactly…"

"Oh Buck, I told you I couldn't keep seeing you as long as you were…"

"I know, I know, but she's going through some stuff. Her parents are splitting up and she's not dealing with it well. I can't dump her, not now."

"Please," Ella said with a defeated sigh. Even though he was a distance away, Severus could see tears welling up in her eyes as she shoved Buck away. He gave in easily, his shoulders slumped. Ella wiped furiously at her face. "Just go. I could give you a detention for being out of bed."

"Don't be like that, Ella," Buck whined. "Just hear me out."

"I was rather under the impression that since you shagged me that you were going to dump her. You told me you weren't happy! I don't understand why you'd put yourself in a position and stay there if you're so bloody miserable! I'm not going to sit there and pretend like things are all fine and dandy when I'm so discontent with the situation."

"You're thinking too much," Buck said. "That's your problem! Why can't you just go with it for once?"

"Because I'm not going to be the other woman," Ella said loudly, her voice echoing through the hallway. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Now give me my damn fez and go to bed or I'm giving you a detention!"

Buck looked down in the fez, apparently having forgotten he'd had it still. Ella snatched it back and pointed a shaking finger down the hallway. He shook his head, his brown hair falling in his eyes and stalked off. When he was gone, Ella kicked at the wall and shrieked in anger. Severus stepped around the corner and stood, looking at her, waiting for him to spot her as she buried her face in her hands and sobbed like a child who'd perhaps lost a beloved toy or whose pet had died. Innocent loss, the cleanest, purest pain of all, something he'd give anything to feel once more. He wanted to comfort her as she tried to comfort him but he could not bring himself to step forward. It wasn't in his nature as it was in hers.

"I think that your patrol is over," he said loudly but hoarsely. Ella looked up startled and brought an arm across her cheeks in a not-so casual maneuver, trying to dry the moisture from her face.

"I've got another half hour," she said.

"Just go," he commanded lightly. "It won't hurt me to lose a couple hours of sleep."

"Are you sure?" Her voice was scratchy and shaky as though she were about to start crying again. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't."

"I'm terribly sorry, I really am, I hadn't counted on him showing up."

"Some things go unseen," he replied as he swooped down the hallway towards her. She didn't back off or move an inch.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough," he replied curtly. She sighed and looked down at her feet, ashamed. He wanted to tell her he admired her for sticking to her values even when weakness seemed to be the easy way out. He wanted to tell her that she'd done the right thing by sending him on his way. It almost poured out of his mouth but he stopped himself just in time. "You should be aware that any sexual conduct within Hogwarts walls is grounds for expulsion."

"I didn't-" her cheeks turned red. "It wasn't like that. Not here."

"I don't want to know. Just go to bed."

Dutifully, she did as she was told apparently haven smartened up a bit as to not make any more of a fool of herself than she already had.

* * *

Author's Note: I'd just like to thank everyone who took the time to read and review with hopes that you will keep doing so. I also want to apologize to you, dear reader, for the not-so-very timely update. This whole pregnancy thing puts a rather harsh damper on my time and the will to do anything other than bitch and moan about every little thing that bothers me. Like the fact that it's June, extremely hot and how I don't have air conditioning. Stupid global warming.


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